Excerpt from Henry’s semi-private blog, “Strike Force 4: The Rise and Fall of Basement Cat: A Lonely, Unwitnessed Exploration, or How to Whine to Friends under the Influence, People.”
wondedays imma get me a girlfriend. wondedays imma own that bank, then we’ll see who’s loanin what to whom, fucker. my aunt was just diagnosed with stage four wondedays. when are you going to finally toss out that old piece of trash and get you a wondedays? it looks like i picked the wrong day to start huffing wondedays. are you going to wondedays this year? i hear they’re doing face painting! hey, i’m just talkin bout wondedays. he’s a bad mother-won-de-days.
it’s a great word. i’m trying to get it to meme or turn it into a meme or something. i’m not really sure what meme means. like signifying. someone give me a concise, meaningful definition of the word “signifying” and i will give you a million wondedays.
anyway, wondedays. it’s my new word. it’s like “one of these days.” but it can mean absolutely anything. it’s versatile, much like me, sexually. top, bottom, wondedays, whatever.
no, i’m not gay, but i have dabbled in wondedays. once or twice. hey, it was college. who hasn’t succumbed to wondedays at least once in his life? let he without wondedays throw the first wondedays.
Henry has a few blogs. This one is read by subscribers only, so four people: his older brother, two friends from his lolcatz forum, and one stranger with a female name, Jules, but the picture of a black man as an avatar.
This blog is used primarily for random thoughts and occasional hyper-personal revelations, which means he writes in it when he is drunk and lonely at night. His main blog is "Sanctuaris Felidae": a public blog where he maintains a steady stream of homemade lolcatz pictures, using his three cats. He also features particularly poignant or hilarious pictures from bigger lolcatz sites, or whatever he finds and likes on forums.
The last blog is a secret blog. He writes posts on occasion, but every entry is set to private. There are no subscribers. It's like a real diary, but he can make it public any time, which he has vague intentions of doing at some point, maybe, but who knows.
The "wondedays" entry is of particular interest tonight (August 6th, 2010) because Henry just noticed a comment. It was from Jules, the black guy. "Wondedays, you'll realize how much I love you."
It's a girl. It's Samuel L. Jackson in the picture. It must be a girl named Jules. Henry reads the comment, and the voice that plays in his head is soft and sultry. Something warm, some voice from a bygone age, is in that voice he imagines. He pictures a curly bob haircut and heavy eye makeup. He doesn't know why.
Please let it be a girl, he thinks. Who do I know named Jules, he thinks.
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